The evenings can be hard for me. Exhausted from the day, I tend to want to snack even though I am not hungry. I sit in front of the television only half watching. I play on my phone, mindlessly scrolling for what can turn into an hour. None of this is healthy or fulfilling.
Last night, I found myself starting to rummage through the pantry for a snack to eat eat. When my husband is away for work, I find sadness creeps in because I am alone and miss my kids even more. That sadness tends to steer me towards sweets and chips.
I stopped and asked myself if I was hungry. I was not. I looked at the black screen of the television and thought about what I wanted to watch. Nothing. I had no desire to turn it on.
Suddenly, I picked up my knitting bag and book and went upstairs. I put some lavender drops in a diffuser, played instrumental ukulele covers on my phone, and sat down in my chair with my knitting.
I continued until I felt my eyes start to get heavy, and then I inspected my work and was relieved to find no errors.
When I climbed into bed, I was content. I put my head on the pillow without tears of sadness, closed my eyes, and feel asleep without any anxious thoughts.
That may have been the beginning of a new nighttime routine.
I appreciated how you described your situation and the courage and strength you used to pull yourself out of that situation. I try to pull myself out of similar situations and find myself falling back. You've inspired me! Sometimes it just takes moving to a different room.
ReplyDeleteLove this! While I don't knit, the rest of it resonates with me to a great extent. Sometimes I eat food I don't want/need to keep myself awake to watch a show/movie I don't necessarily find myself enjoying watching. But still I do it. Something about taking time for myself, but really reading or, you know, getting some extra sleep, would probably be way more healthy in numerous ways. Glad you broke the cycle for a night - great post!
ReplyDeleteI love how you went to a different room. I too find myself in the same routine night after night and eating out of boredom.
ReplyDeleteThe contrast of sadness at the beginning and peacefulness at the end, made this slice an engaging read.
ReplyDeleteThe change of emotions from beginning to end comes across very clearly in your piece. I am glad you found a nightly routine that brings you peace and calm and settles you for a blissful night of sleep.
ReplyDeleteHeather, it sounds like a perfect nighttime routine. It's even better than reading, perhaps. But definitely a better way to fall asleep than TV, fat and sweet foods, and scrolling on the phone. Nice post, and thanks for sharing the photo!
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