Saturday, March 13, 2021

A Lesson Learned from a Missing Pencil #SOL21

I love my Blackwing 602 pencil, so much so I go nuts when I can't find it.  I write my poetry, slices, and stories with it.

My daughter seems to like it, too.  One day I found it with her physics textbook and notes.

This morning, I sat down to write, and my pencil was gone.  

I started to tear my desk apart, picking up journals, sticky notes, planners, and papers to look underneath, but I found nothing.  Then, I started moving from side to side in my chair looking below to see if it was on the floor.  It was not there either.  Next, I pulled out the drawer and took the items out.  I never expected to find it there, so it was no surprise when I did not find it.

The gray pencil with shiny gold metal flattened against the eraser is quite distinguishable, and I can usually spot it easily amongst the myriad of pens I have in containers on my desk.  I usually keep it on the desk next to the containers.  

My heart started to race, and I could feel my frustration level rising.  I hate losing my prized pencil.  A few weeks ago, I left one at the airport where I watch my son during his flying lesson, and I was so bummed.  

Obviously, someone must have moved my pencil.  

All of this was happening during the beginning of my Time to Write session on Zoom.  I waited for a break before I left the room to hunt for it in other places.  

I sat back, looked up, and spotted its gold top standing above the other writing utensils in a pencil holder my daughter made me when she was little.  She had moved it to a safe place because she knows how much I love my pencil.  I was elated, but then I realized something.

I think I have a problem.  This missing inanimate object got such a rise out of me this morning, and that caused me to wonder.

Am I too attached to this concrete object that can easily be replaced?  What does this mean?

Am I just tired of trying to find or manage things during this stressful and emotional time?  

How do I handle or let things go without a spike in my emotions?  

Unfortunately, this was not the first time I experienced these emotions this week.  

Thank you, pencil.  You helped me to realize that I need to be okay with letting some things go or patient with myself or the situation.  If I relax and let myself see and think about what is around me, I may find a solution or what I am looking for in a place least expected.  

I am excited to be participating in the Two Writing Teachers March Slice of Life Challenge.





6 comments:

  1. I looked up this pencil and put one on my list. Any writing utensil that makes you leave your writing table go in search of, is a writing utensil I think I would like. I also think I would hide it from everyone else who might decide they like it tool

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  2. I, too, have to check out this writing pencil! It is new to me. This line made my heart swell: "She had moved it to a safe place because she knows how much I love my pencil." What a dear! So much to be grateful for!

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  3. You've made an important observation - maybe the panic wasn't actually about the pencil at all. I find myself having similar conversations with myself a lot these days.

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  4. I like the build up to finding it in a safe place. I am going to have to check these out. Isn't funny how we become attached to things like this?

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  5. Not gonna lie, Heather. Had to Google Blackwing pencils! I'm not much of a pencil person, but I have the same feelings about my beloved Inkjoys. Keep your mitts off! LOL! :-) -- Christie @ https://wonderingandwondering.wordpress.com/

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  6. Life lessons can present themselves in the smallest of events, can't they? I am glad you found your pencil. An interesting metacognitive moment!

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