I love my Blackwing 602 pencil, so much so I go nuts when I can't find it. I write my poetry, slices, and stories with it.
My daughter seems to like it, too. One day I found it with her physics textbook and notes.
This morning, I sat down to write, and my pencil was gone.
I started to tear my desk apart, picking up journals, sticky notes, planners, and papers to look underneath, but I found nothing. Then, I started moving from side to side in my chair looking below to see if it was on the floor. It was not there either. Next, I pulled out the drawer and took the items out. I never expected to find it there, so it was no surprise when I did not find it.
The gray pencil with shiny gold metal flattened against the eraser is quite distinguishable, and I can usually spot it easily amongst the myriad of pens I have in containers on my desk. I usually keep it on the desk next to the containers.
My heart started to race, and I could feel my frustration level rising. I hate losing my prized pencil. A few weeks ago, I left one at the airport where I watch my son during his flying lesson, and I was so bummed.
Obviously, someone must have moved my pencil.
All of this was happening during the beginning of my Time to Write session on Zoom. I waited for a break before I left the room to hunt for it in other places.
I think I have a problem. This missing inanimate object got such a rise out of me this morning, and that caused me to wonder.
Am I too attached to this concrete object that can easily be replaced? What does this mean?
Am I just tired of trying to find or manage things during this stressful and emotional time?
How do I handle or let things go without a spike in my emotions?
Unfortunately, this was not the first time I experienced these emotions this week.
Thank you, pencil. You helped me to realize that I need to be okay with letting some things go or patient with myself or the situation. If I relax and let myself see and think about what is around me, I may find a solution or what I am looking for in a place least expected.
I am excited to be participating in the Two Writing Teachers March Slice of Life Challenge.